We had 1000+ guests at our wedding when we got married almost 12 years ago back home in Lagos, Nigeria. I guess you can call it ‘Our Big Fat Nigerian Wedding’. We had an amazing day surrounded by our nearest and dearest. I can’t say we knew everyone at our wedding but that didn’t matter as it really was a true celebration of our love and faith and we danced the night away at our after party which was truly one of the many highlights (if you know me, you know that I love to dance). We had always talked about having a 10 year vow renewal ceremony right from the start of our marriage. We didn’t know what it would look like, but it was important for us to renew our vows to each other 10 years down the line. What we did know was that we wanted something different to our wedding, an intimate and beachside vow renewal. As the 10-year mark approached, with our lives looking different and even more beautiful now that our family had doubled, we knew we wanted it to incorporate our two children and our close family.
We celebrated our 10-year vow renewal on the eve of our 11th year of marriage in Hurghada, Egypt on the 1stof November 2023. It was a beautiful and sunny day where with our hearts full of gratitude, we celebrated our love and renewed our vows to each other, before God, our children and family. It was everything we wanted it to be, intimate, faith filled and by the beach.
So, on the one-year anniversary of our 10 year vow renewal ceremony, I wanted to share with you a glimpse into our special day as well as some practical tips for anyone considering a vow renewal of their own.
1. Choosing Your Venue: Why We Went Beachside
- Our Experience: the idea of renewing our vows by the beach felt perfect. It brought a sense of simplicity and beauty, with nature as our backdrop. We live in England, and no shade to the weather but the sun is scarce, lol. We knew to achieve the beachside location; it would be a destination vow renewal. We happened to be planning a wider family holiday for the same year to Egypt for my dad’s 70th birthday. Since we wanted as much as our family to be there as possible, we decided to explore holding the renewal during the same holiday which helped us to narrow down a location easily as well as save on costs.
- Tip: Think about a venue that reflects where you are as a couple today. Whether it’s a beach, a park, or destination abroad, choose a location that feels meaningful and special. Keep your guest count in mind and try not to overthink things. It can be as small or big as you want and as your budget allows for.
2. Getting help: You don’t have to do it alone
- Our Experience: As our vow renewal ceremony was a destination one, once we had decided on the date and venue, we had to get assistance from the event coordinator at the hotel we chose. This involved sending several emails and phone calls with her prior to our arrival. Our event coordinator understood our vision from the get-go which really helped to achieve our vision for our vow renewal. My sister and husband also helped which was great. As I am a working mum who is also a student, it was important that I didn’t feel overwhelmed, and I was able to enjoy the process.
- Tip: It is important to enjoy the process of planning your special day, so get help with the planning if you can. Family or friends can help or if it’s a destination event, utilise the event coordinator at the location who often have experience of planning such events.
3. Setting a Theme: Simple, Intimate & Elegant
- Our Experience: We went for a simple, beach inspired theme with neutral tones to let the natural beauty of the setting shine. Our wedding colours were peach and teal and so we also decided to incorporate elements of that into the decor. I utilised Pinterest for design ideas and used Canva to design a theme and used this design theme to make the invitations, menu cards, name cards, ‘welcome sign’ etc. I saved all my ideas and vision for our vow renewal on a ‘Pinterest board’ which was great as it meant I had everything in one place. To achieve our theme, we went for simple floral arrangements which were affordable i.e., using baby breath flowers and roses in mini vases. This made decorating easy and affordable.
- Tip: Go for a theme that suits the location and your style as a couple. Themes don’t have to be elaborate. Sometimes a colour scheme, for example, the colour scheme used at your wedding or simple decor like candles, seashells, or wildflowers can create a lovely, cohesive feel. Utilise Pinterest for design ideas and the feature of saving all your ideas on a Pinterest board for easy reference.
4. Choosing Outfits: Keep it Comfortable and Personal
- Our Experience: With a beach setting, we wanted outfits that were elegant but comfortable. I chose a flowy dress that let me move freely (and keep up with the kids!) and my husband wore a beige linen suit. We coordinated colours with our children, which made it even more special. My outfit cost me £60 from ASOS and it was perfect. I visited online stores like Monsoon and H&M for the kid’s outfits.
- Tip: Choose outfits that reflect your personality and match the theme/tone of your event. Light fabrics work well for outdoor settings and including your children’s outfits in the theme adds a touching family element. Focus on comfort and connection!
5. Hiring a Photographer: Capture the Precious Moments
- Our Experience: Investing in a photographer was the best thing we did, and I would 100% recommend this. Looking at the pictures after our renewal ceremony confirmed that we had made the right choice in going with a professional. It was a must for us, as we wanted to remember not just the ceremony but the quiet, candid moments with our kids and loved ones. We took some personal, family and couple photos prior to the start of the ceremony.
- Tip: Hire a photographer whose style aligns with your vision. For a smaller event, a few hours may be all you need, which can help with budget. Consider capturing moments like the first look, family prayers, and candid shots with your children.
6. Creating a Budget & Finding Cost-Saving Ideas
- Our Experience: With a smaller budget, we prioritized what mattered most to us: a meaningful location, quality photography and simple, heartfelt decor. We used minimal floral arrangements, my sister did my makeup so beautifully, (thank you sis), my daughter and I braided our hair for the occasion, so it was a case of styling it on the day which my sister did too.
- Tip: Identify your non-negotiables and look for ways to DIY or save on other aspects. Local, seasonal flowers and a smaller guest list can help keep costs down. Remember, a vow renewal doesn’t need to be lavish to be memorable.
7. Food & Drinks: Personal, Simple, and Delicious
- Our Experience: For our intimate group, we opted for a catered seafood and mixed grilled menu with fresh and local options. We also had a selection of canapés at the start of the reception for everyone to enjoy before the meal. Sharing a meal with our closest family felt special and allowed for a relaxed atmosphere. We also had a medium sized, one layer cake, which everyone enjoyed together as dessert.
- Tip: Consider food options that suit the size, theme and personal preferences of your gathering. For a beachside vow renewal, local produce like seafood works well, and you can make it personal by including some favourite dishes. Also, think about a small cake or dessert that everyone can enjoy together.
8. Order of the Day: Balancing Ceremony and Celebration
- Our Experience: Our ceremony started at 4pm which was perfect as the sun wasn’t harsh at this point but was still shining beautifully. We started with a short, faith-centred ceremony, led by my brother in-law. As we are already married, it didn’t have to be someone who was ordained to conduct a ceremony but someone who was confident to lead a vow renewal ceremony. We had preprepared the programme for the ceremony, which he used to conduct the ceremony, and he did an amazing job (thank you bro). It was important for us to include our children in the ceremony as best as we could and so our 6-year-old daughter walked me down the aisle and said a few words during the ceremony, so precious. We had some close family and friends that couldn’t make our vow renewal so thanks to technology, we were able to set up a zoom meeting link so that they could join in for the ceremony, which was great. We read our own personal vows to each other and our parents prayed over us. Afterward, we enjoyed a laid-back reception with time for heartfelt speeches, plenty of photos and dancing.
- Tip: Including children in the ceremony (if you have them) can be meaningful for everyone involved. Write your personal vows to each other which gives you a chance to reflect on your journey so far as well as how far you have come. Plan a simple order of events that balances ceremony and celebration. A quick search on Pinterest or Google will bring up several options for the order of ceremony/ vow renewal programme template whether faith based or non-faith based which you can then tweak to your ceremony. For example:
- Welcome/Prayer: Set the tone with a welcome and short prayer.
- Vows Exchange: Keep vows meaningful and include family if desired.
- Photos & Reception: Allow time for photos. For a casual reception, consider a picnic or meal that lets everyone mingle and relax.
9. Adding Personal Touches
- Our Experience: We gave small, meaningful favours like a beautiful ‘hearts & crosses’ game engraved with our vow renewal date. For us, this symbolised our commitment to fun and working together as a couple. I sourced these from Etsy, and they were perfect for our event. I also sourced personalised wooden name tags for each guest, yes you guessed it, from Etsy too! They were perfect and brought the whole theme together. Additionally, I ordered a personalised topper for our cake which was beautiful and is now a keepsake for us which will be making another appearance at our next vow renewal because you now know that at this point there’s going to be a renewal every 10 years.
- Tip: Personal touches don’t have to be elaborate. Small favours that reflect the day’s theme or your journey as a couple can add a nice touch. Think of items that represent your story, like a favourite Bible verse card, sweets/candy or a small keepsake. Websites like Etsy will bring up various options which can all be personalised which helps to add that personal touch.
Renewing our vows by the beach, surrounded by our children and closest loved ones, was a day filled with joy, gratitude and reflection. It reminded us not only of where we began but of the grace of God that has carried us through each chapter of life together. As we celebrate the one-year anniversary of our vow renewal and as I reflect on the special day it was, I am so grateful that we were able to renew our love and commitment to each other and I am especially grateful for our love and marriage. Our journey to this point has not always been perfect but our faith in God and commitment to love one another and make our marriage work is worth celebrating. I am looking forward to doing this again in 9 years’ time. If you are thinking about it, I 100% recommend it. Would you consider having a vow renewal celebration? Let me know in the comments.
If you are considering a vow renewal, remember to make it meaningful for you and your partner – whether that means an intimate ceremony or a lively celebration. It is about honouring your journey, the love that has deepened over time and appreciating one another. Most importantly, remember that marriage is a journey worth celebrating and committing to, again and again.
“Above all, constantly echo God’s intense love for one another, for love will be a canopy over a multitude of sins.”
1 Peter 4:8 TPT
With all my love,
Esther x