My Fertility Journey

Hello friends! I’m going to be sharing my fertility journey with you all. I have decided to do this as a series over the course of several weeks. This is because I want to combine my story with what I believe are useful tips and advice that you may find helpful. Also, it’ll be too long to fit in one post, lol. This is my experience which may be very similar and/or different to yours. I am sharing my story because I believe infertility issues are more common than we think but are not really talked about. As a black woman of African descent, I feel there is some shame and misconceptions that surround this topic and I feel that in sharing my story, I can maybe encourage more open and vulnerable discussions about this topic. This is in the hope that some of the stigma and misconceptions are broken down. Wow, that feels like such a tall task but change requires us to take the first step. I just want to say that you are not alone. You are amazing. There are so many women out there experiencing the same thing. I believe God sees you and hears your prayers. There is hope and there is support out there and I hope my story and what I will share may be able to help you in some way. So here goes…

My husband Anthony and I had always wanted children. I absolutely love children and have always taken opportunities to care for them whether it be babysitting or leading a group of amazing 3-5 year olds in Sunday school. Oh the joy children bring! Anthony too has a lovely way with children and you could tell he would make a great dad. We had talked about it whilst we were dating and decided, as you do, that we would like to have 2 or 3 kids. Coming from an amazing family of 5 siblings and he 1 of 3 siblings, we definitely wanted more than one child. We got married (I was 26 and he was 28) and we decided to wait until we were married for about 2 years before trying for a baby as we wanted to do all the things newlyweds did, like travel, get to know each other etc. So naturally, I went on the pill, the ‘combined pill’ to be precise. 

Let’s rewind a bit. As a young woman and as far back as I can remember, I started my period at the age of 10 or 11. I remember initially having my periods every month as normal. I also remember there were times I would not have a period for a few months and then ‘mother nature’ would make an appearance again and I would be like, hey there, lol. I also remember having really heavy and painful periods, so to be honest, it was nice to have a break, lol. I never really thought much about it but in hindsight, I should have. You live, and you learn eh.  

So fast forward to after we had been married almost 2 years and we decided, hey, we are ready to start trying for a baby, I stopped the pill I was taking. As a pharmacist, I was aware of what I needed to do when wanting to conceive i.e. vitamins, etc, so we did all that. We didn’t smoke, we didn’t drink alcohol, we took our vitamins. Heck we did all the right things and had fun too ;-). After 4-5months of trying, nothing had happened, and I had only had a period once. I did a bit of research online and the advice was that I could visit my GP for support after trying unsuccessfully for at least 6 months. So, we waited and after 6 months, I booked an appointment with my GP. I had the appointment where blood tests were carried out and another appointment was booked for me to have an ultrasound scan to check my ovaries, tubes etc. 

A few weeks after the scan, I had a follow up appointment with the GP for the results. I remember this day very clearly and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. It was a Tuesday morning. I was to attend the appointment and then go to work after that. I recall sitting in the doctor’s office that morning. I don’t really know what I was expecting but I do know I wasn’t expecting what I heard. The doctor very unempathetically just gave me the news. ‘You have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and you’ll never have a baby naturally except through IVF’. I recall feeling so many emotions and it took the grace of God to not burst out crying right there. In the midst of all those emotions I was feeling, I could hear, as if in the distance, the doctor talking about bloods tests results, hormone levels etc. I felt like he wanted me to take the news and leave. I was able to focus and ask him, ‘so what’s next, what happens now?’. He then proceeded to mention that he would refer me to a consultant OBGYN for further tests etc. I thanked him and left. I could not leave fast enough, and I drove home, holding back the tears. Anthony was home and about to leave for work and I remember getting home and just bursting into tears. I recall now the look of concern on his face when he asked, ‘what happened babe, what did the doctor say?’. I relayed the information whilst sat at the top of the stairs. My dear husband said it’ll be okay, we will have kids, God will work it out. I took comfort from his words and the knowledge that I have a good God who is with me, for me and will work things out for my good. Wow, writing that has brought back so many feelings and emotions. I’m going to stop my story here for this week. There’s more to come later. Stay blessed 🙂