Hello friends!
So, my fertility journey continues. After gathering up the strength to ask the GP ‘what next?’ after I had received the news, it was now a case of waiting for the appointment with the consultant OBGYN (obstetrics and gynaecologist). This took a couple of months to come through, so we waited patiently and kept trying 😉. Finally, the appointment letter came through and we had a date. Phew, it seemed we were a bit closer to getting the help we needed. The day of the appointment arrived, and Anthony and I went. This time was so much different to the first, maybe in part because I had Anthony with me. Also, the OBGYN was the most encouraging and friendly woman ever. She looked at our notes, had a chat with us and reassured us. I’ll always remember her encouraging words ‘you’ll be fine, you will both have a baby. Continue trying for the next 4 months and if nothing happens, come back and we will see you again’. The feelings and emotions I had when leaving that appointment were totally different in a good way.
So, we did just as the doctor advised. We carried on as normal and kept trying. We both carried on with our vitamins for conception and each month we took a pregnancy test just in case, but it was never positive. I lost count of the number of pregnancy tests I took. Each time, full of expectation and each time feeling deflated like air being released from a balloon. Every time, we kept on praying and trusting God and held onto the hope that it would happen for us.
I will never forget and will always appreciate the support of my husband. He would always say, ‘we are fine it’s okay, we will have our children. I didn’t marry you because of kids, God will do it in his own time’. These were some of the many encouraging words and phrases that he would tell me.
I remember having to deal with my own thoughts and feelings… ‘I’m a woman, this is what I’m supposed to be able to do’, ‘did we leave it too late…’. Dealing with these thoughts and feelings was a separate journey on its own which I will go into later.
The thing was, nobody said anything negative to us, my in-laws were fantastic throughout. I had the pleasure of celebrating new babies being born and added to our family and friends. I believe children are such amazing gifts from God so every new pregnancy and birth, although wonderful was tinged with a bit of sadness for me (being completely honest) because I didn’t know if it would happen naturally for me. Wow! That’s a big statement to offload. In all this, God was and still is always present.
Well, four months and several pregnancy tests later, nothing had happened. So back to the doctor it was. A couple months passed, the appointment date arrived, and we saw the OBGYN who advised us that we would have to undergo a new round of tests, Anthony included this time! I had blood tests, another ultrasound scan, a hysterosalpingogram (HSG). HSG is a procedure that uses an X-ray to look at your Fallopian tubes and uterus. I attended the hospital for this procedure. My pain threshold is virtually non-existent, and I found this procedure just uncomfortable, so if you have to get this done, try not to worry too much about it. The uncomfortable bit was when the dye was inserted but your doctor will answer any questions you have. You can also read more about what HSG is and how infertility is diagnosed here if you’re interested. After these tests, we had to wait for our follow up appointment with the consultant to discuss the results and next steps. To be continued… 😊❤️